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hey guys. yeah no come on in, welcome to my lair and all that. look, i’m gonna level with you guys. the Dungeon Master called me earlier, said you dummies wouldn’t stop trying to fuck the elven maiden from the quest-giver’s tavern. said you were being real annoying about it. so he ordered a total party kill. gave me full authority to use all sorts of lightning and uh. big spiders. that’s right, big spiders. so i suggest you just skedaddle on out of here
*nods sagely* yes, yes i see... and the spiders.. can we fuck the spiders? and would the elven maiden like to watch?
okay that’s it
















